One Bite At A Time

Today was another one of those good day/bad day’s that I seem to have way to often.  It was a day with a long to do list. In my “before Fibromyalgia,” (I seem to mark time “Before Fibro and After Fibro”) this To Do list would have been the appetizer for the main event. But now my life is “after,” and I need to first assess how I am doing today before I even make a list. John and I start each day with questions like  How fatigued am I? What’s my pain level? What’s the brain fog forecast? After we get a read of how I’m doing I can make up my To Do list and then see how it goes. 

First on the list today was finishing the laundry that I had started yesterday and pooped out before I was able to get the wet wash into the dryer.  I also had a few more loads to get done. We’d see how much I’d be able to finish on the laundery detail.  Have you noticed we just never seem to be caught up?

Next up was a HUGE one.  Working on taxes for my Etsy stores.  We have a tax appointment in a couple of weeks and I need to finish this project pronto.  I started on this in early January, because I knew I needed lots of time to be able to get this done on time.  I knew in my “before” days I would be able to work on it for one or two afternoons and it would be finished.  Now I'm in my“after” I know I can only work for an hour or two, and then I need to quit for the day.  So I need plenty of time to spread it out.  The Beatles Taxman lyrics have been running through my head today. Lol 

Getting ready for the taxman, yeah, the taxman

“If you drive a car, I'll tax the street,
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat,
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet.
Don't ask me what I want it for
If you don't want to pay some more
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman”

The Beatles 1966 Revolver album

I was frustrated right from the start. I couldn’t focus – oh no - fog rolling in.  I sat down and thought I’d just pick up where I left off last time. I felt confident this would be easy peasy because I had my notes telling me where I had stopped last time.  They included detailed notes on where I had left off, and what I still needed to finish but the notes were not making any sense.  This is typical when fog is rolling in.

This logically should not have happened.  I was diffusing “Focus” blend - my heavy hitter.  When I know I’m going to be challenging my brain cells I diffuse and find it helps me think and wade though the fog. I had my hot drink of choice. I had cleared my desk of distractions. I had my list of what I hoped to accomplish in order of how they need to be checked off.

I was overwhelmed.  I got up and walked away. I went into the family room and chilled a bit. Came back into the office and I was able to figure out what I need to finish. My notes did make sense after all.  I worked all morning and was able to finish with the receipts after lunch. 

I knew my brain was done for the day so I thought I’d switch gears and work on something fun. The cover for my next coloring Mandala Notebook/Journal book.  The inside is complete, I just need the cover finished.  Last time I had worked on it I had gotten a lot done and I was looking forward to hopefully getting it finished.  Well that didn’t go so well. Nothing was working right on the computer. Everything just was not working even though I was following my notes EXACTLY.  I got out the “Photoshop for Dummies” book, I watched about one hundred and thirty YouTube videos, I called tech support (son-in-law Chris) nothing. Nothing was working today. Frustration level was going up, overwhelmed feelings going up so I closed down the computer and just admitted defeat again to this beast – Fibro.

John and I went for a short walk and he reminded me what I DID get done. Focus on that he said. Good advice! We listed all I was able to accomplish today. OK not as much as I would have liked, but still a good amount. I need to quit remembering what I used to be able to do! I am no longer able to multi task. (more on that in another post.) I can just do ONE job at a time.  But you know what? I can still do ONE job at a time!!!

After my walk I was sitting (recouping really) and thinking I need a better plan for days like this. The bookkeeping overwhelmed me right off. The fog rolled in. I was frustrated, overwhelmed, foggy and unable to focus.  So I asked myself "what can I do on a day like this to get the job done?" And then it came to me – uh huh moment. You know what I gonna say here don’t you… How do you eat an elephant? ….One BITE at a time. Is that angels singing? Yup I do believe it is, lol. And then I remembered I had gotten John a lovely carved elephant for Christmas a few years ago.  Yup I went and grabbed that baby and it’s gonna be my mascot.  It’s gonna be my visual reminder when I’m overwhelmed, when the job whatever it is (laundry? taking a shower?) seems to big for me to accomplish I just need to remember One BITE At a Time.

My new mascot 

Oh, and I did finish drying that load of wet clothes. However, it wasn’t until I was going to bed. I had thrown them into the dryer but forgot to turn it on. Huge sigh here. Yup I did exactly what my list said … Move clothes to dryer.  Next time I need my list to be a little more detailed and include TURN DRYER ON!  And so it goes in the life of a Fibro body. I'm Fighting Through The Fog.

Are your taxes one? Do they overwhelm you and if so what do you do to conquer it?

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