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| Easy Mandala Journal almost done =) |
I had a very long but
productive day in the office today.
Brain fog today was what I call “High Fog”. I’m not socked in, but it’s definitely
foggy out.
Brain Fog is a symptom of
Fibromyalgia. It’s when you can’t think. Everything is foggy. You know there’s a
thought up there but it’s lost in the “fog”.
I will start a thought and loose it. I will start a project – one I’ve
done many times and not know how to complete it. When I’m really “socked in” I
can’t track with a conversation. And the
really frustrating part is the “fog weather” changes throughout the day. I may
start out “clear skies” only to move into “high fog” and then wham fogged
in. The worst is when it blindsides me
and I’m out in public and wham-O-bam-O. FOGGED IN. No
warning, just can’t figure
out what the heck someone is saying to me. I mean I know they are speaking to
me, I mean I can see their lips moving, and hear them. But, for the life of me
it’s like on the old Charlie Brown TV programs,
remember when an adult is speaking and all you hear is wa wah, wa wah,
wa wah – total gibberish? If I’m at a store I can’t figure out the money end of
paying. The giving – how large of a bill do I hand them? Then the receiving of
the change. Putting the change in my wallet, receiving the receipt, remembering
to pick my bags of merchandise, say thank you to the teller, and exit the
store. There’s too much to process at one time causing my brain to just freeze.
I cannot negotiate stores by myself at all any more. I am usually able to
handle making all the decisions of purchases but adding checking out to my
already overloaded brain is guaranteed to be a HOT mess. And then there’s the noise! That’s another
post for another day.
I have found on days like
today if I take a lot of breaks I can manage to get something done. So it’s
been up and down from the computer – frustrating – yes, but I still am able to
feel like I accomplished something at the end of the day. I used to take that feeling – accomplishment
- for granted in the old days. Not any
more. I’ve learned to appreciate getting something done and feeling good about
it as a “gift” I used to just assume I was “entitled” to it. I had the attitude
it’s just the way I roll. I was a huge
multi tasker and I was so proud of that fact. Look at me, I can hold a crying
baby while talking on the phone, while cooking dinner, while throwing a load in
the washing machine, while darning the hubs socks, you get the point. Pride,
pride, goes before the fall. Humm. Well those day ground to a screeching halt. Fibromyalgia
has taught me in a major way to adjust my thinking and perspective. That’s a
good thing. We should all view our days as a gift.
But, yes there’s always a
but, I will probably pay for the long day in the office this evening and for
the next couple of days. I’m already
getting stiff – a sure sign I’ve done too much. Oh yes it’s a double whammy
day.
One, I worked my brain too
hard.
Two, I worked for too long.
Both are a sure fire way to
make me miserable tonight and probably for several days. But, yes that’s a
third and final but. I find I tend to “go for it” when the brain weather is
high fog. I have so many bad days that I
just want to make a dent in my ever growing to do list. But, I’m happy to have accomplished as much
as I have today.
Again, I got off topic.
(Seems I do that a lot lately, lol) I started out writing about how much I got
done in the office today. My second book in the series “Coloring Therapy Vol. 2” - Easy Mandala’s is well on its way. Pages are all together and formatted. I just
need a final proof. Now the really daunting job is to work on the cover and
back page. This intimidates me big time. But it will have to wait for another
High Fog
day.
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