It's Live in Etsy!!

It took me almost a year but my Zentangle "Under The Sea" Coloring book is now available.  It's part of my Coloring Therapy Series. This is book 4 and is available at Etsy. http://etsy.me/2sohqfm

Final Editing

Working today on yet another book in my "Coloring Therapy Series".

Today I am working on the computer doing the final editing and formatting and then it is done. 😎

You can purchase my Coloring Notebook/Journal here:  http://amzn.to/2jeGh26

www.TheBlueScreenBlogger.blogspot.com


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees my advertising and linking to Amazom.com. The small percentage I may earn off your purchase costs you nothing extra.  

  

What no one tells you about the struggles of Chronic Illness

John and I were sitting on the patio talking last night and he asked me "what I want to accomplish this summer?" I thought about it a minute and said I think I need to work on contentment.

The dictionary definition is:

con*tent*ment

The state of being contented; ease of mind. A mental or emotional state of satisfaction maybe drawn from being at ease in one's situation, body and mind. Colloquially speaking, contentment could be a state of having accepted one's situation and is a milder and more tentative form of happiness.

As I've mentioned in a previous blog post I've recently come across information concerning my medical issues. This has rocked my world and changed the playing field. I'll go into more detail explaining it all on another blog post. It overwhelms me to get it down on paper.  I’ve tried but I need to get my thoughts clear enough to explain it. I’ve waded through mountains of research but have trouble explaining what I've learned.

Back to contentment. I'm striving to be content in where I am. I'll be honest with you it's been a rough couple months. I've been dealing with anger, frustration, grief and depression. Because there is no CURE or TREATMENT for Fluoroquinole Toxicity Syndrome (FTS) I am struggling my way through accepting that this is the best I will be from now on, there’s a very real possibility of complications and getting even worse. I now know that I will never be able to do the physical things that I used to do with ease, because of the damage done to me is permanent. I have to come to terms with these things – these limitations. That’s the crux of the problem right there.  That's where my brain shutters to a halt and screams at me "wait, what? wait, no that can't be right." “These limitations.” Just those two little words sends chills up my spine.  I need to turn my thinking around to one of acceptance. Acceptance of my current condition - which I cannot change - and I need to have a realistic understanding of my future prospects. I need to be at peace with what I cannot, but, more importantly what I CAN do. Sounds so easy doesn’t it? The voice in my head is snapping "well it's NOT!" lots of foot stomping and failing of arms going on also. 

I find I am grieving for the lifestyle I used to have ... free of chronic pain. Having clear thinking and feeling strong and able to work, being able to leave the house, to go places, to visit with friends and family. To be able to think clearly enough to have a conversation and to be able to track with conversations going on around me. To be able to cook, clean my house or even dress myself without help. Be able to go to the store, a concert, movie or even to drive - these are all things I've had to give up as a result of FTS.

I've been on a roller coaster of anger, frustration, wrestling with how it's not fair and lots of depression, and bouncing back-and-forth between all of them. (Poor John, he's been supporting me through it. He gets Husband of the year for sure.)

But, back to that contentment thing. I need to accept that this is where I am, and this is how it will be - short of the Lord healing me - from now on.

We decided we will spend the Summer tackling some projects around here to make the house safer.  Brainstorming ways to make it easier for me to do the things I need to do. Laundry, cooking, getting into and out of my bed safely.  Grab bars in the shower, widening the front sidewalk. 

Because my tendons and muscles were damaged it's difficult for me to reach above shoulder height. Since I'm short in stature lol, this presents a real problem. I'm finding it difficult reaching into the upper cabinets of the kitchen. If I have anything with any weight at all in my hands a plate, a mug even hanging a shirt on the closet pole is extremely painful. Not being able to reach anything above shoulder height I'm finding out is indeed very limiting. Do you realize how often you reach UP for something?  A step stool seems the obvious solution but I have trouble with balance so I'm not sure that's a safe choice. I'm open to any suggestions, some of these challenges really have us stumped. We recently downsized to a smaller home to make it easier for me.  (A very good move on our part with the info we now have on my medical condition) but we do not have the room to move everything out of the upper cabinets and use only the lower ones. 

So we will take the summer making the house safer and easier for me to live in, especially when John is not home.  We need to figure out some areas where I am having difficulty so I will be able to maneuver through a day on my own. For example, when I am having a bad brain fog day, how to turn on or off the heat and air. How to use the microwave, make a cup of coffee. All things I used to do without thinking about, things I took for granted.

That's all well and good, but back to the contentment, I need to find. I know for my own mental health I need to be content. I need to accept where I am. I need to accept my limitations, I need to have a positive attitude, and I need to get back to where I can see the good in things. I NEED TO LET GO OF THE ANGER, I need to let go of the frustration, and I need to find joy! I know it means that I won’t get back to where I "used to be." But I can still make progress! There are still amazing things I was meant to do. I know I was put here for a purpose and I can't get distracted with all the physical limitations. With the emotional trauma.  I need to dig deep and find perseverance and strength.

So this summer, there are lots of projects around the house to get done. But the hardest job, MY biggest job, will be contentment! Working through the grieving and being content.

Being able to honestly say Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say It is well, it is well with my soul. 

Oh, I forgot to tell you my second book in the series Coloring Therapy is available on Amazon!!! That just shows you how much I've been struggling. I'm so excited to have not one, but two books on Amazon and forgot to let any know? lol

Do you know of someone struggling to accept something they cannot change? I'd love to hear from you. 

If you like this post please subscribe. On the right bar Put your email under "follow by email". I won't spam, abuse, or share it. 

You can purchase my Coloring Notebook/Journal (Coloring Therapy) (Volume 1)

here:  http://amzn.to/2jeGh26

or my Easy Mandala: Notebook Journal (Coloring Therapy) (Volume 2)

here: http://amzn.to/2pOlq7Z

Check out my Facebook Fighting Through The Fog 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/755116634637922/?ref=bookmarks

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees my advertising and linking to Amazom.com. The small percentage I may earn off your purchase costs you nothing extra.

5 Star rating on Amazon

Thank you!! Thank you so much for the lovely review Pete, on Volume 1. I've been getting quite a few people contact me telling me of their struggles with chronic illness and how they find coloring helps them.  How their therapist recommended they draw or color and how that relaxes them. I'm beginning to see how many people struggle with chronic illness on a daily basis.  

Book 2 in my Coloring Therapy Series is available on Amazon now. amzn.to/2pOlq7Z

Do you find coloring or drawing helps you relax? 


I hope Your are leaving messages all over BlueScreenBlogger posts.  I love to hear from you and when you comment it makes you a part of BlueScreenBlogger community.   

Here is the Amazon link for book 1: http://amzn.to/2jeGh26

Check out my Facebook Fighting Through The Fog, and please join the group.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/755116634637922/?ref=bookmarks

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees my advertising and linking to Amazom.com. The small percentage I may earn off your purchase costs you nothing extra.

Getting Close. I'm so excited!

Getting Close!! Watch for Easy Mandala's Notebook Journal in the "Coloring Therapy Series" Volume 2, Available next week on Amazon. I'm just waiting for Amazon to do their "approval thing"  This is so exciting.  

"I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it
I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it" 
      The Pointer Sisters 1982

I have been working on an Easy Mandala COLORING BOOK which will be a companion book to the Easy Mandala Notebook Journal.  I am very close to submitting it. Just have the cover to finish, but Photoshop is an extreme challenge for me and my brain fog has been pretty "Fogged In" lately.  I am super excited about this one. It's 8 x 10 instead of the travel size I've been doing on the journal notebooks.  

There is just so much going on in the office here at the TheBlueScreenBlogger headquarters.  

I have another Journal I'm thinking about after the Coloring Therapy series. I thinking about a chronic illness journal. For years I have kept one in a blank lined book to track of whatever I trying to manage. Pain, diet, supplements, sleep, my weight, exercise, medications, a place to journal. I find it helps me keep track of all the facets of chronic illness. 

I recently went back and read through it.  I had forgotten so many of the struggles, frustration, and challenges I have been dealing with these last 10 years. I was able to see where I was and how I was coping - or not coping as the case may be. The weight I've lost, and the diets I've tried and tried and tried. So many fails -- It's been a long 10 years.  lol 

Still researching but I found I needed to slow down on that.  It was consuming me and I felt I needed to slow the roll and take a step back. John has been researching and sharing what he's learning with me and I find that's enough for me right now.  I'm trying to focus on positive things instead of all the medical depressing stuff right now. So I'm spending my time being creative and working on the "Coloring Therapy Series" instead. Honestly, I would rather think about coloring books than depressing medical stuff, would't you? 

I hope Your are leaving messages all over BlueScreenBlogger posts.  I love to hear from you and when you comment it makes you a part of BlueScreenBlogger community.   

You can purchase my Coloring Notebook/Journal Volume 1 here:  http://amzn.to/2jeGh26

Check out my Facebook Fighting Through The Fog, and please join the group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/755116634637922/?ref=bookmarks

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees my advertising and linking to Amazom.com. The small percentage I may earn off your purchase costs you nothing extra.

It may not be Fibromyalgia after all - I'm in Research Mode

I know it's been awhile since I've checked in. I recently came across something which seems to connect all the left over puzzle pieces together. Too many left over symptoms and Fibro never really seemed to make sense to me even though Fibromyalgia was diagnosed by my Rheumatologist.   After quite a bit of research, we are thinking this may be what I have been dealing with for the past several years. 

I am in research mode now -- when my brain is clear enough. (Which is really challenging me) LOL. Thankfully my family is helping me with this. It's pretty overwhelming. This is rocking my world. 

Will update when I know more. 

You can purchase my Coloring Notebook/Journal here:  http://amzn.to/2jeGh26

Check out my Facebook Fighting Through The Fog   https://www.facebook.com/groups/755116634637922/?ref=bookmarks

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees my advertising and linking to Amazom.com. The small percentage I may earn off your purchase costs you nothing extra.

Excited about my new Slate!

My new Slate Drawing tablet. TheBlueScreenBlogger.blogspot.com

Just a quick post showing you what arrived last week. Insert me doing a happy dance here. Can you picture it? Me dancing around trying not to stumble in my glee. Oh yeah, in my head I was getting it down – a real dancing machine.  

“She's movin',
she's groovin'She's a dance, dance,
dance, dance,
dancin' machine, dancin' machine”
The Jackson 5, 1973.

I decided to buy the Slate drawing tablet by Iskn.  It came all the way from France.  (mair-see  boo-coo).  By airplane even.

There is a learning curve, but I’ve watched like eleventy-hundred YouTube videos so I should be good to go right?  Looking forward to figuring this puppy out.  I’ve kicked the tires, and taken it for a spin around the block but haven’t really dug in yet.

Kicking the tires. TheBlueScreenBlogger.blogspot.com

Have you tried a drawing tablet? What was your experience?

You can purchase my Coloring Notebook/Journal here:  http://amzn.to/2jeGh26

Check out my Facebook Fighting Through The Fog    https://www.facebook.com/groups/755116634637922/?ref=bookmarks

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees my advertising and linking to Amazom.com. The small percentage I may earn off your purchase costs you nothing extra.